I am not that person anymore
I have visions where I briefly awake to see myself captive on the deck of a ship. \
On this plane, I’m only conscious long enough to see stars streaking by as we move through space at incredible speeds.
Before the vision/connection ends, a male figure casually walks towards me from the front of the ship and puts me back to sleep, severing the connection. \
This vision, and others like it, has me wondering about my existence and brings me back to one of the most existential questions of all—who am I?
I still don’t know the answer, but contemplating it, I’m realizing what I am not. \
It was so clear the other day:
The stronger and the more sensitive my awareness becomes, I notice pieces of what I once thought was me being stripped away like obsolete programming, giving way to upgrades. \
And that habit, emotion, or whatever is
connected to it just ceases to exist, and a sense of relief is embodied.
Even though I know that pretty much all of me is to be let go, I still firmly hold on to some parts that I consciously know must go. \
It’s hard, though. Really hard.
The next obsolete program I’m conscious of and want to get rid of is being defensive instead of facing the truth/situation head-on, with love and compassion.\
—Dane Broderick